Match mate

Signed up for match.com a few nights ago and got a couple of good friends to look over the profile I set up for myself  and they both said it was very me – I was going for funny and quirky but not weird. That should work, right?

Anyhoo, I’m wandering through the gals that looked at my profile and thought I’d make a list of things that make me automatically remove your profile:

1. Womyn – some lesbians (and/or feminists?) use this spelling to avoid using the word “men”. Way too militant and serious for me.

2. Typos. I know I’m a spelling snob, but if you can’t take the time to spell check when you’re trying to make a good impression, I’m not interested.

3. Your when you mean you’re. Inappropriate use of it’s. There instead of their. See snob factor above.

4. You read ALOT? And you don’t know that’s two words? (I need to get over the spelling thing, don’t I?)

4. No picture. You’re scaring me. What are you hiding?

5. If you’re in a different state.

6. Your profile’s heading includes the words “hand sanitizer”. And not in a funny way.

7. You used your mug shot for your picture. Or a picture that looks like a mug shot.

Of course if I get lonely or depressed enough, I reserve the right to take all of that back. In that situation, please hit me with a big stick. Thank you for your support.

Sign of the times

Thanks Andrew!

How much of the internet is actually cat videos?

I’m thinking a good 20%.

This cracked me up.

Carrie Fisher knocks it out of the park

At some AFI (American Film Institute) event, Carrie Fisher roasts George Lucas including some great zingers like why he wouldn’t let her wear a bra in Star Wars because “there is no underwear in space'”.

She’s very funny even though the one time we met in person I freaked her out – I didn’t mean to. Really.

Bea Arthur

Dead. If you’ve never seen it, rent the version of Mame with her and Lucille Ball. She was great.

Thanks Richard for the info.

Burlesque

Went to a burlesque show last night to raise money for boobs. Or fighting breast cancer. Something boob-related. There was even a demonstration on how to self-check your breasts – illustrated on a topless man, which was kinda amusing.

The show was hosted by El Vez, who I’d heard about when I lived in LA but never saw perform. He says that his lawyers made him stop saying that he’s the love child of Elvis & Charo and I agree – if Elvis was very swishy (or maybe Charo is).

Anyhoo, this is the second burlesque show that I’ve been to and it’s a good time. There’s usually a lot of performers with a sense of humor and I really like that the women aren’t “LA perfect” – even at the show I went to in LA. They come in all shapes and sizes – you know, like real life. And the crowd just digs it. What I find really attractive is the attitude of the women. They are just in your face, having fun and stripping down to pasties. It’s also just a little naughty. I’m sure back in the day it was a lot naughty and I’m not even sure it qualifies for naughty now (your mileage may vary depending on if you live on a coast or somewhere in the middle), but there’s a bit of an air of naughtiness around these events, which I appreciate.

This was my favorite performance (I so want this guy to be my friend):

I wasn’t allowed to bring my grown up camera with me, but I shot a few pix with my baby camera (that’s what shot the video too).

More (and bigger) pix are on my picture website.

Foster puppy

That chick is not feeling the love right now…

From cuteoverload.

Torture?

Cocky Playboy.com journalist bet someone he could handle being waterboarded for 15 seconds.

From the Huffington Post.

Pix from this weekend

I got my camera back after pricy repairs (only to discover that it’s mostly fixed, but not totally fixed – but it came with a warranty, so I need to bring it back. Sigh.).

On Saturday, I went to the University of Washington campus (U-Dub to the locals) to take pictures of the cherry blossoms. I ended up having much more fun taking pictures of everyone taking pictures of each other or just lounging around and enjoying the beginning of spring.

UW pix from Saturday are here, but here’s one to whet your appetite:

On Sunday, I went up north to the annual Skagit Valley tulip festival. Turns out that the tulips are not all in yet, so I was a tad premature.

The reds, pinks and red/yellows were in and the purples were just getting going, but the rest…not so much (the festival runs all month).

Of course, it would have been nice to know that before I paid to go up in a helicopter…but I do get a rush out of being on a helicopter. This year’s tulip pix are here.

This was an incredibly friendly horse who wanted me to pet him so badly I couldn’t get far enough away from him to get a good picture.

And finally, here are my pix from the tulip festival a few years ago when all the colors were in bloom.

And yes, I know, some of this year’s flower pix aren’t tulips. Bite me.

Love will tear us apart again

Kids dancing & lip synching to Joy Division (they say it’s a cover, but it sounds just like the original to me). I really like these kids.

Brian Gibson - Love Will Tear Us Apart (Joy Division Cover) from Johnny Internets on Vimeo.

Twitter

Okay, let's get this straight. First of all, read this and please note that I wrote it more than a month before OPRAH invaded Twitter.

If you go onto Twitter and tweet about what you ate for breakfast, it means you are dull. No one is going to bother to follow you. Also, it means that you don't understand what Twitter is about.

If you go on the radio or tv and tell people that Twitter is for writing about what you ate for breakfast, you should be waterboarded for your role in encouraging the decline of wit. Seriously, is that all you've got?

Twitter is an opportunity to say something interesting or funny in 140 characters and have ANYONE in the world decide that you are worth following to see what you're going to say next. It's not about keeping in touch with your family. Cause (even if they don't tell you this), they don't care what you had for breakfast. And strangers care even less.

I'm not saying that none of Oprah's masses are entertaining. But I'm just not a fan of the mass. And I am a fan of the twit. And I'm afraid that they're going to ruin all my fun. Next thing you know, politicians will discover Twitter. What?

Sometimes you just need a hug

Definition of Torture

Okay, so the Obama administration has released four reports that describe in detail what the CIA was doing to prisoners and how they justified it as being legal.

Why are they giving the CIA a pass on this? They announced that they weren’t going to prosecute anyone from the CIA. Why not do what the South Africans did – set up an immunity period where you can come forward and detail the items you participated in without worrying about prosecution. But if you don’t come forward during that time period, you are going to be prosecuted.

Or, are they hoping that this will give the CIA folks incentive to speak up about the fact that the orders came from the White House? I don’t see how that works since they already have immunity, so there’s not much of an incentive there.

To me, it’s pretty easy to determine what’s torture. Would you consider this torture if it were being performed on an American soldier? Or you? What if you were actually innocent of what they suspected you of doing/thinking/planning?

So disappointed

This is the before and after of bad plastic surgery:

I can’t even believe that the pic on the right is really Rupert Everett, but dlisted says it’s a screenshot from his appearance on Martha Stewart’s show recently.

When plastic surgery makes you look like a totally different person, it creeps me out. I think that he’s a really attractive man before. What was he thinking?

Seattle at Night

Added a few pix I took recently when playing with my new tripod. Of course, I didn’t attach the camera to the tripod properly (the very first time I was using it) and it fell and was damaged. These pix came out okay, but I need to practice more. My camera is repaired (sigh. $400 later) so I hope to play (and learn) some more this weekend. I (obviously) have a lot to learn, but I’m so enjoying it…)

Here’s a preview, but you can see them all here.

First (openly) gay White House dog?

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Road to the Doghouse - Bo Obama
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

Marilyn Chambers

Dead.

Conservative Tizzy

Stolen directly from Slog:

The rescue of Capt. Phillips, and the fact that Obama authorized the operation, has the right in a state of confusion—some only praise the Navy Seals; some reluctantly praise Obama; some simply spew pure nonsense. Just read the comments for this post on Fox News and see the chaos. The positive result of the rescue operation will only deepen the split on the right.

Heartwarming

I don’t usually watch American Idol or the like, but this is ridiculously heartwarming. It’s a 47 year old woman who lives with her cats performing on Britain’s Got Talent. Definitely worth the watch. It’s great to watch the audience come round and support her. Big smiles here in geekland.

Embedding is disabled, but click on the pic to go to the video.

First Puppy

Introducing Bo, the Obama's new puppy. He's a Portuguese Water Dog that was gifted to the Obamas from Ted Kennedy. The Washington Post has all the details including:

Bo charmed the first family, a source who was there said. He sat when the
girls sat, stood when the girls stood. He made no toileting errors and did not
gnaw on the furniture. Bo has, after all, been receiving lessons in good
behavior from the Kennedys' dog trainers. These lessons have been taking place
at a secret, undisclosed location outside Washington.

You know, when I write stuff like that, it's done tongue comfortably in cheek. I'm not so sure about when the WashPo writes like that. Makes me a tad uncomfortable.

Cuteness du jour

Awwwwwwww….

 

Having more fun

at the expense of the anti-gay marriage folks. They make it way too easy.

Seriously?

I’m hoping this guy was asked to sing the National Anthem at the last minute cause a) he doesn’t know the words and 2) he doesn’t know the medley. If he knew he was going to be singing it in advance…he’s as sharp as a marble.

Watch Worst National Anthem Ever and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

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Much teabagging humor

Rachel Maddow and Ana Marie Cox have much humor at the expense of the conservative’s decision to have teabag parties on April 15. The embed code doesn’t work, so click here to see it and giggle. It starts off slow (about the first 30 seconds or so) then devolves into a contest to see who can say “teabagging” the most times with a smirk on their face.

Oh, and if you don’t get all the tongue in cheek humor of this, you may want to read this definition of teabagging.

Sad, sad Republicans.

Huge smile

I had a giant smile on my face throughout this video.

Why do chickens cross the stream?

Actually, I think that’s a rooster, but whatever.

This is how it’s going to happen

It may not happen right away, but I think this guy nails it. The surveys show that people 40 and under overwhelmingly support gay marriage. If the old people don’t get it, they’re going to get overwhelmed (or die). I hope we don’t have to wait for them all to die out though…

The Lost Tribes of New York CIty

Filmmakers Andy and Carolyn London interviewed New Yorkers and fused their voices with inanimate objects.

The Lost Tribes of New York City from Carolyn London on Vimeo.

Found a la Andrew Sullivan.

Those Kooky Activist Judges

There they go again, applying the Constitution when no one’s looking. In this case, it’s the Iowa(!?!?!) Supreme Court that ruled today that it is unconstitutional to ban people of the same sex from marrying.

Once again, let me clarify: marriage is a LEGAL term. Marriage as defined by your religion is totally excluded from these rulings, no matter what “they” say. Your church, synagogue, mosque or whatever does not have to marry anyone they don’t want to. They can continue to discriminate as they see fit. However, in the state of Iowa (and Connecticut and Massachusetts – you know, the two states with the LOWEST DIVORCE RATES IN THE US – yes, that’s me yelling), two adults can choose to marry each other and have all of the legal rights that are bestowed upon married couples.

From the Iowa justices’ opinion:

“We have a constitutional duty to ensure equal protection of the law,” the Iowa justices wrote in their opinion. “If gay and lesbian people must submit to different treatment without an exceedingly persuasive justification, they are deprived of the benefits of the principle of equal protection upon which the rule of law is founded.”

And from Andrew Sullivan’s blog:

Please, no suicide calls

First off, if you aren’t watching 30 Rock (NBC Thursday nights at 9:30 – 8:30 if you live in the middle) you are missing out on an opportunity for regular giggling and chuckling. Even some guffawing. This is one of the best shows on tv (I know that’s not saying a lot, but I’m telling you it’s worth your time.) And of course, you can watch it online or get the old episodes from Netflix.

In last week’s episode, Liz Lemon (played by Tina Fey) is outed for having performed in a very very bad late night ad for a phone sex line (in the 80’s). They showed clips of the ad in the show, but they’ve made the entire “ad” available on Hulu. It’s very good.