TSA Rant

I know, I know, I haven’t written much on here lately, but I’m all worked up and you people are the beneficiaries of my wrath.

The Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) whose job it is to protect us (the planes? the public) when flying apparently has responded to the most recent unsuccessful terrorist attempt by limiting folks ability to use their laptops or get up for the last hour of flights.

As a formerly extremely frequent flier (American Airlines 2million+ miles), who now only flies a few times a year (generally internationally though), I have always felt that the regulations that were put into place after Sept. 11, 2001 were really just there to make infrequent fliers feel more comfortable and safe. Those of us who spend a lot of time in the air are painfully aware how little most of these annoying, time consuming itsy bitsy little acts affect our safety.

I’ve generally kept my mouth shut because I don’t want to scare people. But let’s not be naive here folks – if someone wants to hurt you on a plane, they’re going to find a way to do it. Didja ever notice how you can buy bottles of wine (you know, with glass ‘n stuff) once you’re through security? Apparently, those bottles cannot be used to harm anyone. That’s special TSA approved glass I guess. Or perhaps, people make way too much money selling you bottles of water and wine after you’ve passed through security and we wouldn’t want to stifle that opportunity for capitalism just for your safety. (ok, water bottles aren’t harmful, but believe me, those shops are making a killing off the fact that you can’t bring your own water through security).

And btw, the TSA isn’t even doing a good job of applying the regulations they have. Have you read any articles about how people are slipping all kinds of restricted items past security? In my experience, I was unintentionally flying with a Swiss Army knife (mixed in with a bunch of misc. stuff in my bathroom bag) for more than a year after 9/11 (through LAX, JFK, LHR and other major airports) and no one caught it until I was passing through St. Thomas (I don’t even know what the TLA for St. Thomas is!). Depending on people visually identifying objects on an xray machine is just asking for things to be missed. Humans get tired or distracted. It’s just not reliable. It’s a joke.

And what really gets me is that the TSA takes the approach of addressing a problem AFTER someone has exploited it. You know, like how (almost exclusively in the US) we have to remove our shoes to be xrayed after that nutcase tried to blow up his shoe. First of all, talk about slowing down the process. Second of all, xray will only show metal in the shoe, so I’m not sure how that makes us all that much more secure. Third of all – if it’s always been that big a threat, why is the TSA in a reactive mode? Shouldn’t we have anticipated this?

This most recent nutcase had explosives sewn into his undies and tried to set them off as they approached Detroit. TSA’s immediate response: you can’t get up during the last hour of your flight.

Um…this assumes:

a) you have to get up to set your undies off

b) you only want to blow up your undies during the last hour of the flight

c) you’re some sort of moron. Okay, that one does seem to apply to these idiots who have tried to “blow up” planes (the shoe guy and this one), but still, I don’t think that assuming every potential terrorist should be considered a moron until they prove that they are.

And nothing in your lap for the last hour of the flight. I guess they figure that this forces people to set their undies on fire while others are looking, or a flight attending happens to be walking by and looking at you so that they can stop your or shame you or whatever. Absolutely reasonable, right? I understand the idea of layering security – if something gets past one layer, a later one should pick it up. But once someone’s on the plane with their dangerous items, we’re kinda already screwed. Depending on the (overworked and underpaid) flight attendants or other passengers to protect the plane is kinda ridiculous in my book. I especially love when the pilot goes to the bathroom there days, a flight attendant will block the way to the toilet with one of their rolling food carts. The flight attendant then stands there and stares at the first class passengers. I guess they’re intimidating us. Seriously? This is what we call security? A 120 pound unarmed person standing behind a big box on wheels? Well, I sleep solidly on the plane (mostly so that I don’t have to be irritated by such nonsense).

Let’s not fool ourselves people. TSA is not there to protect you. TSA is there to give you the illusion of safety. I can’t wait to see what sort of anti-undie regulations come out of this more recent event. Get ready for the all nekkid airlines of the future.