Sober

A very long time ago, in what feels like a galaxy far far away, I parked my car and walked into what turned out to be a rehab. And I have not used any drugs or alcohol since then, although I have wanted to occasionally. Today is my sober anniversary – the anniversary of the day I began this kooky journey.

So much has changed since then. I was very young at the time (didn’t feel like it then – I felt like I had been through so much). I’ve done a lot of growing up.

This past year has been a year of huge changes for me in so many ways. I have been working at and making giant strides to become me – to really acknowledge and embrace all of my Amy-ness – even the scary, icky stuff (that’s an ongoing battle). And the best part is that I have the greatest friends ever. They have been loving and supportive and there for me every step of the way. Some of them are sober and some are not – but they’re all such a huge blessing.

It’s nice having my anniversary right around Thanksgiving because it gives me a few days of remembering how much pain I was in and how hopeless I felt and how different a person I am now. Today, when I’m in pain, it still hurts a lot, but I don’t feel like it’s always going to be like this – I know it will all change in one way or another. And that I can make choices that affect how and what that change is.

Anyhoo, my brother is getting married today, which I’m very happy about. I met his fiance last weekend and we spent a few hours together getting to know each other. I gave her a big thumbs up (and this URL, which only goes to people I like). Looking forward to seeing the rest of my family that I haven’t had a chance to see yet.

It’s a little over an hour drive with my mom and my aunt to the hotel where the wedding is being held. Those two together can be particularly volatile, particularly if my aunt is stoned. Which only happens when she’s breathing…